Getting Married in Church FAQs
What do Christians believe about marriage?
Christians believe that marriage is a gift from God. In the marriage ceremony, a couple make a public declaration of lifelong commitment to love each other, come what may.
Where can I get married?
Everyone lives in a parish and belongs to a parish church. That’s the church you should contact for more information about getting married.
I’m not baptised. I don’t go to church. Can I still get married in church?
Yes! See – ‘Making it easier to marry in Church’.
How do I book the church?
Get in touch with your local vicar or parish priest. He or she will probably wish to meet with you in person to discuss your plans.
What if I want to be married in a different church?
If you are a regular worshipper in that church, it is usually possible to be married there. Just speak to your minister.
If you are not a regular worshipper why not start attending? You will normally be expected to attend services for some time before becoming eligible to be married there.
I heard that you can get married in any church you want to now. Is this true?
The Church of England has recently approved measures which will become law in October 2008 making it easier for couples to get married in a church outside their parish. An example might be the parish you grew up in or where your parents live. See – ‘Making it easier to marry in Church’
If none of the usual criteria apply but there is a good reason for wanting to be married in a particular church, couples can apply for a Special Licence. To apply or find out more contact:
The Faculty Office, 1 The Sanctuary, Westminster, London SW1P 3JT Tel: 020 7222 5381
We’ve decided to get married abroad but we would like a church blessing. Is that possible?
There is no reason why you shouldn’t do this, provided your vicar is happy. There is a service of prayer and dedication after a civil ceremony and this can be adapted. There are no legal requirements and your locall church can advise on costs as there are no set fees.
I’m divorced. Can I still get married in church?
The Church of England believes that marriage is for life. But it recognises that sadly, some marriages do fail. In exceptional circumstances, the Church accepts that a divorced person may marry again.
Speak to your parish priest. He or she will want to talk to you frankly about your past and your hopes for the future. Even if it is not possible to do your wedding, they may be willing to offer you service of prayer and dedication after a civil ceremony.
I’m Church of England and he’s a Catholic. Does that matter?
People of all denominations have a right to be married in their parish church (provided they have not been married before). So it doesn’t matter from the Church of England’s perspective.
Why do we need marriage preparation?
You have probably invested a lot of time planning your wedding. The day is important but your marriage should last for the rest of your life. However much you think you know each other, you are still two separate individuals with different backgrounds, personalities, experiences, hopes and fears. Churches often offer an opportunity to talk through these issues, sometimes as a group with other couples.
If a couple wish to be well-prepared for their married life together, Anglican Engaged Encounter offer special weekends for couples who are engaged or thinking about getting married. Attending one of these will give a couple time to think through and talk about issues they are likely to face in their married life. After all – ‘A wedding is a day but marriage is for life’.
What are the legal requirements?
The normal preliminary to getting married in the Church of England is by banns. This gives official, public notice that you intend to be married in order to check that there are no legal reasons to prevent the marriage.
If you are under the age of eighteen, you must have your parents’ consent to marry.
There are circumstances where some form of licence, such as a common licence or special licence, is more appropriate. Your priest or minister will discuss with you what you need to do.
There are special guidelines on church marriage if you have been divorced (See question above).
How much will it cost?
The legal fees for a marriage cover the publication of the banns, the marriage service and a certificate of marriage. These fees are fixed centrally and will increase slightly at the beginning of each year.
Your local church will also add administrative fees and charges to cover any extras you may wish to have for the service, such as a choir, organist, bell- ringers, special lighting, fees for video recording and so on. Check with your local vicar.
Can we be involved in planning the service?
There will be some flexibility in the order of service and in choosing things like hymns, readings etc. but the words of the service will be the official ones that the Church of England uses.
Should we have one or two rings?
A wedding ring is a symbol of unending love and faithfulness, and of the commitment you are making to each other. It is entirely up to you whether you have one ring or two.
Can I marry in any other colour than white?
Yes
Can we have a video recording of the service?
You will need to ask permission from the parish priest
Do you have rehearsals?
The minister taking your service will probably want to meet you and the other people taking part in the service before the wedding, in the church, to talk to you all about what to expect.
What about flowers in church?
Many churches can do these for you at a reasonable charge and the flower arranger will be happy to discuss what you want. You can also do your own or engage your own florist.
May we marry on a Sunday?
Although you have the right to get married in a church, the time of the service is decided by negotiation with your minister. It must be between 8am and 6pm and not clash with other services. Therefore you could get married on a Sunday provided it was not at a time of the normal Sunday services and the minister was willing to do it.
What happens if one of us lives abroad?
Marriage by Common Licence can take place on the basis of one of the couple living in the parish or regularly attending the church without any action being necessary where the other party lives. Your vicar will know how to apply for a Common Licence. However, because many clergy or churches like to offer marriage preparation, they like to see you both.
What happens if one of us is a foreign national?
If one is a national of a country outside Canada, Australia, New Zealand, South Africa, the EU or USA, the Church has a responsibility to conduct marriages which will be recognised in the country the bride or groom comes from. This is done for the couple’s benefit not just for bureaucracy. Therefore, the Faculty Office strongly recommends that these marriages should be done by Common Licence rather than banns and some dioceses ask the person to obtain from the relevant embassy or consulate a letter saying their marriage will be recognised. There are now stricter rules applied by the Civil registry office to prevent ‘sham’ marriages.
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